Why Is My Life Such A Mess? ...by Bill Knell

Feeling all out of control and helpless knows no age limit. It hits like a ton of bricks and shows no mercy. All of a sudden you're confronted with the fact that your life is completely out of control. This feeling usually comes to us when we're at the end of a long and painful rope. It's brought on by the culmination of a number of negative events in our life.

Children feel their lives are a mess when parents divorce, a loved one dies or circumstances take an unexpected and unwelcome turn. Teens often experience this feeling as a result of the mental and physical changes they go through when combined with circumstances that they feel are beyond their control. Adults and senior citizens suddenly find themselves head to head with mental chaos when they reach a point of what seems like helplessness brought on by despair over how life has treated them.

"Why is my life such a mess?" It's a question we ourselves in the hope of finding a solution to what seems like an impossible problem. The way we answer that question can either deliver us from the deep mental hole we're trapped in or help us dig another even deeper one. If we sit back and do nothing, chaos will inexorably remove any chances of a solution. The answer is to act and do so without any delay.

It's ironic that the remedy to such a problem is stability. Ironic because stability is the one thing that seems a million miles away when things get chaotic and our lives seem to be spinning out of control. While the path to stability may seem light years away from your current situation, it's actually right around the corner of the next action you take. The problem is that it's tough to see stability when you're surrounded by chaos. So let's get rid of the chaos!

Feelings of helplessness or being our of control create a mental fog that's hard to see through. The source of these feelings is less important than how we deal with them. The idea is to turn chaos into stability. Most people, when faced with chaos, make it worse by trying to instantly change everything and everyone around them. This is not the answer. Change starts with us. We must get control of our feelings and emotions.

Every feeling we have produces an emotional response. If we allow our feelings to govern our emotions we can quickly become slaves to any emotional state we happen to be in. Feelings are merely reactions to external stimuli. They should never be allowed to govern our emotions. If a feeling is telling you that chaos reins and your life is totally out of control, step in and take charge of the things you can. Whether it's your finances, health or overall life situation, you need to make some positive changes to avoid an emotional hole filled with self-doubting quicksand.

The good news is that anyone can step out from their circumstances and make a change. Sometimes the change is just a mental one. We start by being our best friend instead of our worst enemy. We must make decisions that benefit our well-being instead of injuring it. Running away from problems is not going to solve any. Confronting them and seeking positive solutions will. The idea is to create as much stability in our lives as we can. The stability should be multi-faceted and include our finances, health, employment and lifestyle.

One of the greatest cures for hopelessness is to make stability a never-ending goal in our life. By getting and keeping our life on a stable footing, we replace feelings of helplessness and hopelessness brought on by chaos with strength empowered by our strong desire to live a happy and stable life.