The Latest from CNN (NOT FAKE NEWS! "We don't lie.")
After last night's big New York debate, a janitor discovered Gov Cuomo and Ms Nixon in a supply closet playing patticake! The janitor, who wished to remain anonymous, was shocked. He said, "Both of them were wearing pink pajamas. Don't they know that everyone is so over pink?"
In other news... In preparation for the Senate committee hearings on the confirmation of Judge Brett KKKavanaugh, Senate Democrats have ordered thumb screws and electric cattle prods. Not to worry... An ambulance will be standing by.
Finally... Kyle Greene, an independent running for a Minnesota state House seat, used a racial slur in a campaign video in order to get voters to focus on "real issues," he said. “I want to be your state representative. I want to be your public servant. And I want to be your... black alternative to all dem white honkey peckerwoods! Kyle Greene, an independent, said in his first campaign commercial.
Stay tuned to see Wolf Blister's face after yet another round of Botox injections...
Doctor Know Bill
at 12:05 PM EDT
